We care for Harvey, whose love of Sabrina does feel very pure and sincere and heart-eye-emoji-inspiring, but we knew that competition would come for him as surely as choir competition would come for Prudence. On to what I think we can all agree is the most important development here: the dreamy magic boy. Did we know she could sing? Why did Matthew Weiner make Sally Draper a ballerina when these pipes were just sitting there unused? He gave almost everybody else a musical number! Father Blackwood is married to the super-glamorous choir teacher, in whose class Sabrina demonstrates an ability to sight-read music that makes Prudence very edgy and makes my Kiernan Shipka fandom escalate 1,000 percent. He tells her these are “general requirements,” but we later learn this is a LIE and he was just handicapping her to be a dick. Nothing to worry about, I’m sure!įather Blackwood, who in addition to defending the devil in witch court also serves as headmaster of the witch school, gives Sabrina a schedule completely devoid of cool classes. He escorts her inside this very lush-looking school, which consists of perfectly proportioned pentagons. Upon arriving at the Academy, Sabrina meets this child who looks exactly like the doll child from this creepy movie. Do they have any friends besides each other? Have they ever been in love? They make witch life look awfully lonely, especially without Sabrina around to focus on. Their relationship is so fascinating to me - sisters who are bound together, seemingly in isolation from the rest of the world, for almost-eternity. Her studies will teach her to “conjure him, bind him, and banish him.” Ambitious! Does Sabrina really think she won’t need cute magic boys to assist her on this mission?Īs Sabrina leaves, I think for a minute about the lives of the aunts. She’s only got one guy on her mind: the Dark Lord. The best advice Sabrina gets about this getaway comes from Ambrose, who informs her that this is an opportunity to meet witches and warlocks from all over the world and “a great many of them will be hot.” In the grand tradition of fictional girl characters who are 0.01 seconds away from meeting a boy, Sabrina explains that she’s not going to school to meet a boy. Sabrina is heading off for her induction, a three-day stint at the school to get her started. Who can stay invested in these low-stakes mortal scuffles when there is a whole witching world to discover? Not that I don’t care about what happens at Baxter High, but - nope, sorry, I have to be honest with you: I do not care about what happens at Baxter High.
Finally, Sabrina is going to the Academy.
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